Dirka Dirka Playground Dirka

Well, it has been a day. I attempted to be a good mommy today and it backfired. We took Brynn to the mall today so that she could play in the big indoor play area. It was semi peaceful and very clean. Brynn was one of the older kids there. So I felt safe taking a few seconds to update my Facebook status... Now, before you start judging me, there were ten other parents on their crackberries and several conducting calls. Brynn was on a fierce cycle of sliding down the waterfall with her new friend she named Car-Car. (She introduces herself to every little girl her age there and then brings them over to meet me. By this time she has already forgotten their names and made up new ones.) Anyhow, as I am logging into Facebook, I no sooner click update status and I see another mother carrying my crying baby over to me. SERIOUSLY, ten seconds I look down and she has broke something. Well, the good news is that she was fine. The other mother was paranoid because her daughter had broke her arm there before.... and why they came back I will never know. Brynn shook off her injury, literally. I kissed her ankle and she was back to being Baby Gaga.

I then decided it was in my best interest to put up my phone and watch her intensely. Another mother entered the play area. And out of the other open 85 seats, she chose to sit by me. Now, I know that I'm pretty hot and maybe it was my fur lined Remetee hoodie I got for Valentine's Day, but I wasn't looking for company. I don't want to make random conversation and lie to you about how cute your hairy ugly baby is. She tells me how cute Brynn is, so I now feel obligated to lie and tell her that her little tranny is cute. I still don't know what it was and it had some foreign name so ......yah.... Mind you , the mini-tranny is maybe 16 months old. She just lets the little weeble wobble wonder around and become the home base for a game of tag. The child wonders out of the 'play' boundary and she doesn't notice until I alert her. She then answers her phone and begins talking in THE loudest most annoying dirka dirka language ever. 85 other spots and she had to sit next to me. I guess I picked the wrong day to leave my Saudi to English dictionary at home. I almost asked to see if I could talk to my friend in the Army over in Iraq. How big of a place could it be?

Finally, I decide I can't take it any longer. I bribe Brynn with the gallery of bubble gum machines and we abort mission. I guess it is simple karma that because I don't like people, people like me. Karma, I hate you. But I thank you for the extra 20lbs an ex's wife has gained. That was mighty awesome of you.